Puns I liked
1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
3. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
4. He said I was average - but he was just being mean.
5. There was a fight in the candy store. Two suckers got licked.
6. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
7. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
8. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. It's better to love a short girl than not a tall.
11. We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to pay attention.
12. There was a guy who was fired from the orange juice factory for lack of concentration.
13. She was only a whisky maker but he loved her still.
14. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
15. The optician fell into the lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.
16. The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.
17. Goats in France are musical because they have french horns.
18. A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
19. An illiterate fisherman was lost at c
20. It was raining cats and dogs. There were poodles all over the road
21. When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.
22. You didn't hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
23. How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.
24. A butcher shop opened on the 10th floor. The steaks were high.
25. I really do have a photographic memory -- I just haven't developed it yet.
26. Somebody was running a flea circus, but a dog came and stole the show.
27. A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"
28. Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.
29. You should never drink beyond the pint of no return.
30. The string went to the dance and had a ball
31. He bent over to pick up a sieve and strained himself.
2. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
3. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
4. He said I was average - but he was just being mean.
5. There was a fight in the candy store. Two suckers got licked.
6. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
7. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
8. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. It's better to love a short girl than not a tall.
11. We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to pay attention.
12. There was a guy who was fired from the orange juice factory for lack of concentration.
13. She was only a whisky maker but he loved her still.
14. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
15. The optician fell into the lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.
16. The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.
17. Goats in France are musical because they have french horns.
18. A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
19. An illiterate fisherman was lost at c
20. It was raining cats and dogs. There were poodles all over the road
21. When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.
22. You didn't hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
23. How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.
24. A butcher shop opened on the 10th floor. The steaks were high.
25. I really do have a photographic memory -- I just haven't developed it yet.
26. Somebody was running a flea circus, but a dog came and stole the show.
27. A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"
28. Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.
29. You should never drink beyond the pint of no return.
30. The string went to the dance and had a ball
31. He bent over to pick up a sieve and strained himself.
posted by Kipod at 11:21 PM
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